Sunday, January 31, 2010

If you think robbing a bank is hilarious......

...then braining Norman Mailer with a hammer should further brighten your day.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Fat Guys Finish First (i.e. Alive)

I know the Brittany Murphy beat is old news, but Jesus Christ her husband was a fat piece.  It must have been competition, not anorexia, that made her so freakishly skinny.

Finally Something Hilarious

I've been depressed and generally pessimistic about everything lately.  Until this happened.  Lesson learned - don't take life too seriously.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Pro-Life (more like "projected 4th round draft pick"-Life)

Our friend Tim Tebow is doing a pro-life superbowl commercial. The story goes that his mom's doctor advised her to get an abortion when she was pregnant with fetal-tim. She refused. And, thanks to the glory of god, the christ-child was born - making the world a better place, and abortion evil for potentially destroying what has come to be.

The only problem with this as an anti abortion message is that it's too easy to flip it on it's head. How many child molesters, murderers, and yankees fans' mom's should have had abortions? Are two BCS championships really worth Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler, etc.?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Liberté Égalité Shinobé

"They travelled in disguise to other territories to judge the situation of the enemy"
The French are banning yet another form muslim garb.  They claim that the burka is "contrary to the values of the Republic".  I agree that it should be banned, but for totally different reasons.  The French see it as a betrayal of their egalitarian values - I see it as a clear violation of my antininjarian values.  It's a national security issue.


As you all (all 5 of you) know, I love a good-old american fall from grace.  My favorite so far, and what I believe is the platonic ideal, is the movie "Overnight" -  a must-see for those of you who appreciate comeuppance.  I'm not sure how I feel when it comes to the decline of our fine country though.  That being said, this article rings true.  It makes the point that our government is actually a really old organization, way older than most - and most organizations don't last that long without going stale and failing.  It kind of leaves you feeling somewhere between total hopelessness and cautious optimism, which - honestly - is better than I feel about "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day."

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Less You Know, The More You Comment

Well, if some extra-dimensions could wipe-out one quintillion factor (?!?) of LHC safety expected - what we can expect about theory of Hawking radiation? "

I normally have a 'don't read' policy for comments after news articles, but here is an exception.

Ignorant commenting on political matters makes me depressed and enraged.  However, the same ignorance and insanity is funny when it comes to science.  It's also an interesting article if you have a soft spot for particle physics.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

New Links

I've added some new links.  Check out the netflix map link. It's especially funny to look at what neighborhoods rent Tyler Perry movies in Minneapolis.

Khalid "Shake" Mohammed

Iran on Thursday denied reports a minister exchanged a rare handshake with his Israeli counterpart at a tourism fair in Spain, a state news agency said on Thursday.

This has gone too far.  Wanting to wipe a country off the map is one thing, but shirking polite formalities is simply not right.

Another Glorious Fall

This came out a few weeks ago.  On the level of great self-imposed destructions.

A Theological Question

When did Jesus say that you have to put Bible verses on everything?

Bad Week for Arms Dealers

I know the focus of the world is on the devastation in Haiti, but there are other victims as well.  For example, arms dealers are being unfairly persecuted by the muslim, socialist administration.  First, the bible was banned from out troops' gunsights. Now, the FBI is arresting the patriotic core of our entrepreneurial class - Gun Dealers - for giving bribes to undercover FBI agents pretending to be representatives of an unidentified African country.  This policy destroys decent American businesses (i.e., it's a 'job-killer'), it also undermines the ability of freedom-loving Africans, to spread their freedom.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010

What do you believe in?

The Finches

Poking the Bear (in the woods with a funny hat)

Pope Benedict XVI has defended the Vatican against accusations of indifference towards the Nazis' annihilation of Europe's Jews in WWII.(BBC)

Yesterday the Pope visited a synagogue and said something or other about how the Vatican sort of maybe did some kinda good stuff for the jews during the Holocaust.  These statements drew protest from some elements of Italy's jewish community.

Aren't these protesters setting an unreasonably high bar?

After all didn't the Vatican basically invent the "annihilation of Europe's Jews"? Don't get them started.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Funny Thing About Gun Control... that it just leads to a lot more stabbings and people being doused in gasoline and set on fire. Though I guess no kids accidentally stab themselves in the face with their dad's knife.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Can We Declare a War On Dilapidation?

Forget "you can call me" Al Qaeda, Iran, North Korea. The real Nuclear Threat is from within.  It seems fitting that we get done in by generic craptitude and unwillingness to fix our own shit.

A related side note:  Why did 'Fruit of the Doom' want to bomb Detroit?  The economy already beat him to it.  Wait a minute.  Is the economy working with Al Qaeda?  We need a war on the economy.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour

Sarah Palin admits she can't 'articulate' for shit, will stick with 'representing' stuff. What does she represent? Scholars still debate this question.

Cock of The Walk(way)

Westminster bridge, London.

How Dare You Tell the Truth About My Dad!!!

My dad did something on the public record for all the world to see and now you want to put it on the public record for all the world to see? That is worse than denying emergency contraception to rape victims - which is really, really bad, by the way.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

Redundant Redundancy

Inevitably inevitable.

Selfmade Rollercoaster

You're the Good Things

I loved this. 5 stars! 5 stars? 6 stars!! The kid from Spy Kids, who knew? In a weird way I like this even more. I thought face-offs were in hockey, not soccer. Doy! People are so fucking insane it's become creative.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Al Qaeda's Newest Tactic

Did you ever wonder why she's been called a 'bomb'shell?

And He Doesn't Even Break Character Once

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Fair Trade

I used to think it was bad when Africans hacked each other to death with machetes, then again it's hard to think of a more appropriate response to this: a gay rights activist ... was pinned down in a guava orchard and raped by a farmhand who wanted to cure her of her attraction to girls. (S)he was impregnated and infected with H.I.V.

How about this, Uganda? We'll take your homosexuals if you take our evangelicals. Everybody wins. Also, Jesus loves (to kill people).

Tuesday, January 05, 2010


Another childhood favorite ruined.

Now You've Got That ... Cool

The tallest building in the world opened yesterday.  This seems to mark some sort of transition of something (tallness ... no, money) from west to east to middle-east. It seems pretty useless to me though, as I have absolutely no reason (not the view) to visit Dubai and one reason not to visit. At least the west still has the tallest something.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Don't Screw it Up This Time

Some heavy shit is going down in Iran.  People are busting up the police and the Basij (paramilitary thug squad), and generally wreaking revolutionary havoc.  If this really is a revolution, I hope they come out with something better than their last one gave them (hint: don't give absolute power to a guy who's name rhymes with motorola)

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Things not to teach your monkey

Kung fu monkeys beat up trainer

Monkey took offense at his trainer and showed him the lessons of kung fu .
Lo Wung’s kung fu monkeys have become a regular feature outside a shopping centre in Enshi, Hubei province, where they were trained to show off their martial arts skills on each other. But one quick-thinking monkey saw his chance when Lo slipped – and caught him with a perfect flying kung fu kick to the head. The rest then joined in the affray.
Hu Luang, 32, who caught the incident on camera, said: “I saw one punch him in the eye – he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose.
“They were leaping and jumping all over the place – it was better than a Bruce Lee film.”
At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.
Lo only managed to get the monkeys under control by tangling them up in the rope that had been used to stop them running off. [] and []

Friday, January 01, 2010

Volleyball? Really?

So they blew up the Buddhas of Bayman because they were "against Islam" (which is surprising because the statues were built in 507 and 554 A.D. and Muhammad wasn't born until 570 A.D., but I guess it's useless to point out that the Taliban are stupid).

Then they blew up the world trade center and the pentagon because these were symbols of western economic and military imperialism (or some such).

Now they are blowing up volleyball games.

This is getting silly.  Volleyball never opposed Islam.  And I doubt volleyball represents western imperialism to any but the most die-hard Buzkashi supporters.  I'm starting to think these Al Qaeda types are just dicks who will use any old excuse to blow shit up.  How do you fight a war on dickery?


This new year is special.  The Chinese, Medieval European, and Zoroastrian astrologies are all in perfect alignment.  Expert astrologers from all denominations have determined this to be the "Year of the Cack"™.