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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Please stop killing yourself...

...before we can torture you to death.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

14 Stupid Words

Wanna know how someone's an idiot? They're sad that this guy died.

Drinking Problem

This guy is what you call a mean drunk.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Friday, May 25, 2007

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Bush Shark Policy Fails

Despite the strenuous push for abstinence-only education the sharks keep getting knocked up.

Monday, May 21, 2007

On The Mind Of Wikipedia

Top 20 Most Hotly Revised Articles
  • Jesus
  • Adolf Hitler
  • October 2003
  • Nintendo revolution
  • Hurricane Katrina
  • India
  • RuneScape
  • Anarchism
  • Britney Spears
  • PlayStation 3
  • Saddam Hussein
  • Japan
  • Albert Einstein
  • 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake
  • New York City
  • Germany
  • Muhammid
  • Pope Benedict XVI
  • Ronald Regan
  • Hinduism

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A Dog in Sheeps Clothing

I only wish I had thought of this first.

Bedside Manner

Gingrich, Giulianni, now Gonzales. Why do these republican ass-holes always do their dirty business with people on their death bed.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Credo Of The Stupid

Here is the NBA's Stu Jackson on the league's decision to suspend Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for standing up to help their teammate:

"It's not a matter of fairness" "It's a matter of correctness."

It is a shitty state of affairs when sports leagues are no longer concerned with fair competition, but, rather, are focused on the "rule of law." I understand that the courts of law cannot be bothered with the fairness of particular situations - they are overburdened and understaffed. The basketball courts, however, can afford to let fairness play a role in the decision-making process.
Just because the NBA and the American justice system share the dynamic of out of touch, arrogant, old, white guys deciding the fate of young black guys, doesn't mean they have make decisions in the same way.

To sum things up, "FUCK YOU DAVID STERN."

Charles Barkley for Commisioner!

Fire and Brimstone

Love is a flower.


(ps. burn in hell motherfucker)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Defamation?

this seems like a compliment.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Iceberg Advises Titanic

the pope is in brazil, "the most populous Catholic nation in the world." i guess he noticed that they have a few problems (rampant poverty, crime, misery, etc.).

and the cause of these problemes?

"Pope Benedict XVI blamed both Marxism and unbridled capitalism"

that sounds about right. what else should these people avoid to get back on track?

"Benedict also warned that legalized contraception and abortion in Latin America threaten 'the future of the peoples' "

Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Quick Rant

ok. when it comes to europe, im usually all for it. the food, the chicks, the social policies. but when it comes to sports, we need to get rid. european athletes are ruining the NBA.
soccer, the sport of europe, considers the worst elements of human nature to be "just part of the game." what i mean by this is, (1) flopping, (2) dirty play aimed at injuring the opposition, and (3) constantly whining at the refs. now i know that these things existed before the european invasion into the NBA, but now, this type of play seems to be accepted. all one has to do is look at the san antonio spurs. these guys should be in the goddamn world cup with cleats on, not on a basketball court. now i know that guys like bruce "knee to the groin" bowen and tim "if you call a foul on me i'll have you fired" duncan are not technically european, but i think this "europitis" is contagious. we need to quarantine these motherfuckers before their disease kills the rest of the NBA.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

I Knew It

deep down inside (or not that deep) we're all bad.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Sun

it's the shit!

This is Rad

"Musicians recently unlocked a 600 year old mystery that had been encoded into the walls of the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, the one featured in The Da Vinci Code."

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Lucky Little Bastards

i hope those kids had tivo.