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Saturday, December 29, 2007

I Told You

These seven, plus the fact that drinking anti-freeze is healthy are the biggest myths out there. (oh yeah, and also global warming)

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Hoover v. Bush

They are both fascist-leaning authoritarians who would use the constitution to wipe their own asses.  But the real questions is, who would wear the pants (and who the skirt)?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Friday, December 21, 2007

yuk

I'm neither here nor there on the article, but wtf is up with that picture? Are they hunting whales or grinding them into milkshakes?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Say It Ain't So

I expect cheating, lying, and law-breaking from the white house staff.  But not the CIA.  Aren't they supposed to be the good guys?

The best band ever

The best band ever is not in order from least to greatest. It is just three videos of the best band ever. 1/3 is no better than 3/3. got that!?

the best band ever (3/3)

best band ever (2/3)

best band ever (1/3)

Friday, December 14, 2007

Reoccurring Theme

My dad's an asshole, this is stupid as shit, and based on those two things I'm not so sure I agree with this anymore.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Best Cooking Show Ever

The real reason the internet was invented.

Ga Ga Goo Goo

Ga ga. I'm a little embryo right now. My daddy is the luckiest man on the planet. Goo goo.

What Is It With Nigeria?

These christians really don't believe in evolution.

I guess internet scams and the christians and muslims killing each-other wasn't enough.

UPDATE: Add Canada and muslims to the list of backward people
UPDATE 2: Add Texas, Ohio, and white trash

Sunday, December 09, 2007

What Would Pat Robertson Think?

I wonder what outrage against God caused this to happen?  I wonder if there were any gay people  there?

It's A Sad Day When ...

you can't even trust the Russians anymore.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Why The Internet Was Invented

What Do These Fruitcakes Care About Barry Bonds?

Isn't it a bit hypocriticalist that the PETA people give Barry Bonds the naked chicks, but Michael VIck gets none?

The End of The World

Where Was Giulianni ...

for the tragic events of Dec. 5th?

Friday, December 07, 2007

Real Human Rights

Fuck those pussies at Amnesty International. The Scottish are the real Human Rights advocates.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Mexican Singer

Just passed elephant trainer as the most dangerous job in the world. "More than a dozen Mexican singers and musicians, most of whom perform variations of the polka-style music popular in northern and western Mexico, have been slain execution-style in the last two years. None of the killings has been solved." Yikes.

(holy shit)

Monday, December 03, 2007

A Step in the Right Direction

This is good, hopefully the bombs will fall soon after the plane leaves. Doesn't Africa have enough problems without these maniacs running around? The irony of it all is that some of the most ignorant people in the world would want to kill a teacher.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Sports on the other hand...

...may be the opiate of the masses, but this is still awesome.

"Death by Firing Squad"

Religion is no longer the opiate of the masses, it is now firmly the island of the retarded, an island that needs to be sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Stupid Wins Again

I'm calling for it right now, war with Sudan. Notice the judge's name. Why aren't his parents in jail?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Flying Suit

Lash Worthy Post

One thing is for certain: Sudan isn't run by irrational idiots and Islam is definitely the religion of peace. Also, God hates teddy bears and 7 year olds.

Can we please take every leader in the world, dump them in a hole in the ground, and cover it with concrete? Please? This, the Nazis, and the War On Terror have conclusively proven that humanity cannot handle the responsibility of making its own decisions. It's time for the Martians to help out a little, because we are lost.

According to the Columbia Encyclopedia, by the way, Muhammad (in it's variations) is "probably the most common given name" in the world. It is estimated that more than 15 million people bear it. Whips and prison for all of them, I say.

Monday, November 26, 2007

More Lies

Don't you have to have a heart to have a problem with it?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

People...

...are fucked up.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Saturday, November 17, 2007

She Was Asking For It

Let's get real people.  How can you call it rape, the girl is 14 years old - and she's family fuck's sake.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Pray v. Gay

God brought the rain.  It must have been the gays that caused the drought.

Like Flies To Shit

This entire article is worth reading, but below is a quote that tells you what kind of guy Charles Taylor is:

His commanders would force boys to kill their parents or other family members, breaking the ultimate taboo, then ply them with methamphetamines, marijuana and other drugs to keep their killing instincts keen. Often their pay came in the form of a license to rape and plunder.
Yet even as he undermined traditional respect for elders, he subtly substituted himself in those elders' place, simultaneously enthralling and enslaving a generation of young boys who slaughtered on his behalf.
This explains his supporters' chilling election campaign cry in 1997: "He killed my ma, he killed my pa, I'll vote for him."


Ditto this article, which is even better:

Children, some as young as eight, were forced to batter their parents to death, then eat their brains before being sent to the front or used as sex slaves. Anything to terrorise the civilian population.
Women's vaginas were sewn up with fishing lines, villagers' mouths clamped shut with padlocks. Drug-crazed soldiers would rip open pregnant women's stomachs after taking bets on the sex of the foetus, then parade the little heads on pikes. At least one man was skinned alive before his flesh was picked off and eaten. Thousands of young girls and women were repeatedly raped, thousands more people burned alive in their thatched-roofed homes. Between 50,000 and 200,000 were killed and more than a third of Sierra Leone's 6m people forced to flee.


More telling and frankly more damning, though, is this one.

Thus, I guess we can safely assume, Al Qaeda is for Giuliani.

How Did We Miss This?

My only question is whether this picture was taken before or after she was beaten to death.

Finally

The greatest words evered uttered in the history of humanity.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

How Stupid Can We Get?

This stupid

And guess who won't be going to jail?

Bill Brasky's Life Work

...has finally reached fruition. Congrats, Mr. Brasky!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Idiots

I think the Pacman Jones approach to "makin' it rain" is more effective, and more fun, too.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Friday, November 09, 2007

Goliath...

...meet David.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Hold on Pat ...

Wasn't it Guilianni's pro-gay stance that caused 9/11?  

My Puss

Ode to a Pervert

"...and i want a little cred for all these brilliant articles i send you."

Over the past few months yours truly, Jenny Topeka, has posted several articles of varying brilliance. While most of these are found on my own, on occasion I get submissions from my loving fan base. One such fan, who shall be known as Bard Blet to maintain anonymity, emailed me the above statement and link today. While I question this man's moral integrity an ethos, I do not question these sentiments. Because of excessive pride, jealousy, and greed, I have decided to steal "brilliant" links like these and never once think of giving credit to the finder. Well, even Jenny Topeka can admit when she is wrong. I bring to you today, Thursday November 8th, the man, the myth, the legend, BARD BLET, in a little section I like to call, Guess the Venereal Disease. Oh, and I would like to preface this with by ruling out HPV for all entries, as Bard Blet passes this disease around like a box of Runts in movie theater.



A tough one to start things off, as this one does not lend too much to work off of. Bard has certainly found himself in a seedy bar, most likely on a Tuesday, with one of the locals. Dressed in his finest puke-green bowling shirt, Bard looks to have found an easy target. My guess is that Mr. Blet knocked these pins down on the first shot, and was rewarded with a twinge of gonorrhea.




Here we find Bard classing it up in a bowling alley drinking out of a plastic cup fraternizing with a girl who obviously loves men in tweed baseball caps who cant see straight. You know what else Bard will have trouble seeing tonight? The genital warts he is contracting.


OK things are getting a little easier now, or are they? At first glance one would assume that this cougar is a hotbed of venereal disease. Taking that thought a step further however, you realize that this mature momma probably has an arsenal of pills, creams, antibiotics, lotions, diaphrams, condoms, and various things ending in "-icide" to protect a village of whores from contracting even the common cold. What is the one little bugger she can't quite live without besides the random drunk 24-year old she meets at Jimmy's on Friday night? You guessed it, the crab louse.


Is anyone else picking up a pattern in the type of women this man of mystery Bard Blet is attracted to? I feel this blog entry might as well serve as a public service announcement to all barely legal blonds living in the midwest. Tonight Bard is sporting the adidas cap and hipster glasses, which can only mean one thing - he means business. Too bad he is not in the business of buying and selling non-gonococcal urethritis, because the slightly pained look behind Ms. Oklahoma's eyes screams urethral pain.


Dried maximum hold guido hair gel crust on his pillow, an empty container of vasoline, a bleeding rectum, one terribly goofy picture forever saved on the internet, and of course, AIDS.






There ya go Brad Belt, err I mean Bard Blet, BARD BLET!!

We Got Em!

Starting in 1964 humankind has been on a mission that makes Apollo look like a walk in the park.  Last week, the mission was accomplished.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Christmas - Scrubs style. F'ing hilarious!

The long and short of it.

Sometimes this universe is so amazing the imagination can hardly begin to comprehend the scope or majesty of it all, other times it just seems like it's out to get you.

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Times They Are a Changin'

1,000 years ago this girl would be probably be hailed as the reincarnation of Vishnu and be carried around on one of those wooden platforms reserved for people too good to use their own feet.

Today, we still don't want this person to use their legs, which is ironic because she has like 15 of them I think - until they cut them all off.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Best Celebrity Fall Ever

As long as he doesn't mean "you fuckin scum-ni***r without a soul,"  he must not be racist.

Friday, November 02, 2007

What is wrong with our society

Our society is rapidly evolving (or devolving one might contend) into one where the focus has shifted almost entirely towards each individual member as opposed to identification with a larger group or set of ideals. The common man may now blog about what is happening outside his window (and arrogantly presume other people actually care) , set up a myspace or facebook profile which can be read around the globe, or even put their collection of music on itunes for the world to listen to. But this is nothing new to anyone who is living during this era. Hell, even Time Magazine called attention to it last year. Is this a bad thing? Heck, I don't know. The yin to the yang that this is certainly had its pitfalls - take for example the extreme Nationalism that spurred WWI and WWII.

So here is the problem that has been created: When all the focus and attention is shifted to extreme individualism there seems to be a need to carefully craft the persona you want to project out into the world, instead of just being yourself - even if you think that person is too plain, stupid, boring, or ordinary. And who are you appealing to? Other self-absorbed assholes it seems to me. Instead of honestly listing the movies, books or songs they enjoy, these hollowed-out souls carefully select ones which will make them seem more intellectual, high-brow, or creative. Instead of actually being intellectual and creative, they have settled to simply convey that on their myspace page. Sadly, I think this could signal the death of true individualism. Where is our Bob Dylan? What ever happened to our Mark Twain, TS Elliot, or even Marilyn Monroe? I think they have gotten lost in a sea of pretenders trying to trick others into thinking they are cast from the same mold. Anyways, I present Exhibit A. You be the judge, but I am pretty sure that we all know this guy in one form or another, and he is a poser dipshit.

I defy anyone to make sense of some of this "writing". Take, for example, this "sentence":

"ate july and the front pages of national papers are screaming choruses of mounting kraken songs — "pugnacious and hungry, humbolts stretch tentacles into california"; "killer squid invasion!" last summer it was the world cup, this year a cthulhu-driven death count - bloody beaked leitmotif to chinatown happy hours with History (bearded), married but without ring — allergic to selenium."

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Speaking of people obviously in denial...


...remember these assholes? Time to pay the piper.

(This would have been a little better if Jenny hadn't sandwiched her equally gay post in between. Who the fuck cares about KU besides an oft -date-raped sorority wench like her?)

KU Bolsters '08 Class

And you thought the University of Kansas was strictly a football school? Not so fast, son. KU is looking to maintain it's decade of dominance over the NCAA by adding some very highly touted kids this week.

Official Cackamasaurus Fact

There are more gay republicans than stars in the sky.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I thought Bill Brasky lived...

...somewhere other than NJ. Hmm, strange.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Plan C

Q: What Is So Low It's Practically Underground?




Is nothing below these steaming piles of shit? If only there was some sort of federal emergency management agency that could help them.

Don't forget, I can buy and sell your ass a thousand times

Man, I really believed his story too...

I bring you sluts!

The only time I have ever wished to be in middle school again...

He Didn't Fall...


...he was just trying to get closer to hell with Halloween around the corner.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Israel Is Smart

I mean hey, this plan is working in Baghdad.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mitt Wrongney

As if the “Reagan Zone of Economic Freedom” isn't insane and scary enough, this guy want's to fight a "global war on terror" against a senator from Illinois.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Best Death All Week, Possibly Year


The last two words make this one. Surinder Singh Bajwa, 52, Indian politician, Deputy Mayor of Delhi, fall after monkey attack.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Important Thing Is ...

that someone is getting fired for this.

I Think I Might Become A Scientist

I always thought of scientists as pencil-necked geeks, but some of these guys must be all right. Forget evolution, global warming, and all that other crap that god hates. Here is the real science!

Chicken Hawks

Hero of the day.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

What a coincidence...

...I found one in my pants.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Friday, October 12, 2007

Explosion Series (8/10)

For the Lonely Gentleman...


Google image result for "Jenny Topeka." She loves Star Wars, fellas. Geeks and nerds please send all correspondence or love letters to Brubaker.Jon@gmail.com.

Does The World Know? (or care)

I have some beef. Please put my at least third on the list of contributors on the main page. if you are going to bring in a bigtime blogger such as Jenny Topeka you need the world to know.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Who Do You Think You Are?

As I continue to put gold on the Cack, and also make amazing posts to cackamasaurus, i am troubled by one thing - the boring format of the blog. we, and by we i mean [brasky], need to do a cack facelift so the presentation can match the incredible content (again, my posts).

-jenny

Star Wars Trumpet

Do Or Die


Too bad Buffy's dead, but Kool Rock-Ski's still alive and probably happy to do it. Not sure why they even bothered with a casting call.

Down with Spam!


No, not that kind of Spam, I am talking about the emails that fool senile older women into sending checks to Nigeria to unlock vast fortunes, housewives to give their husbands' credit card numbers to fake e-bay administrators, and 12 year-old boys to pay crazy amounts of money to see pictures of some Brazilian "model" named Xena. Come to think of it, where the F am I going to get my viagra from now? Fuck a duck.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Not Sure About The Inspiration For This One

Pussy Integrity

The future will be so much fun


Yet another example of how our loving and trustworthy government here in these United States of America is going to be protecting (erasing) our freedoms in the not-so-distant future (thanks Patriot Act!). Anyways, coming to an anti-war rally, political rally, or chili cook-off (keep those recipes hidden) near you, robobugs.

Oh wait, never mind, these are only going to be used to fight terrorism. How foolish of me to think our country would spy on their own citizens.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Suzyn Waldman: Greatest. Announcer. Ever.

So the Yankees lost, again. I love how in New York this is painted as a monumental upset. Did they not realize that Cleveland had a better record? Or perhaps it is just so inconceivable that another team would be as good, if not better than, these Yankees. Well anyways, at least one good thing came out of this - an extremely embarrassing Suzyn Waldman audio clip.

Still Funny

Monday, October 08, 2007

Cackamasaurus In The Spotlight

It looks like somebody out there actually read this bullshit.

BONUS: "edlova" of the New England Revolution fan forum (obviously a cool dude) thinks I'm a "racist" for hating flopping in the NBA.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Cold For Teacher

You know how there all all those hot teachers making out with kids?

Friday, October 05, 2007

Something serious


This is actually a pretty cool web page. I guess there are some guys, with some cameras, in some country called Iraq. I am not really sure why they are there, or what is happening that is noteworthy, but the photos are pretty cool.

Wow

Take this North Korea!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

How Surprising

Apparently Lebron James is a Yankees Fan and he's wearing a Yankees hat to Indians' playoff Games.  This is obviously pretty lame.  But, he at least was able to redeem himself by saying that he was also a Cowboys fan and a Bulls fan growing up.  I guess  this is why his team lost to the Spurs, he was clearly rooting for the favorites.

Does the crime justify the penalty?


Poor guy. 'nuf said.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

YOU Decide:

I can't tell whether this is awesome, or stupid.

Report: Now safe for women to sleep with rats

Now where do you suppose this is going to have to be inserted? Whatever the case, I will gladly sign up to be a test subject.

Two Cheeks On the Same Ass


Not that this is necessarily a bad idea.

This reminds me of my childhood

Maybe Federline should get these kids as well.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

The United States of America is currently ranked #37 in the world in terms of quality health care provided...to humans. But ape care, well, that is a different story. Maybe we should take a clue from the United Kingdom on this one.

Not sure why steroids are prohibited...

...when they clearly don't work.

Not To Be A Nancy-Boy Vegan, But ...

Doesn't the USDA oversee the killing of billions of animals.  Why all the fuss now?

Monday, October 01, 2007

Game over, man! Game over.


No, not a Mets reference, even though their game is very over. This is about something that doesn't suck. Looking at his filmography, with only a few notable exceptions, Bill Paxton pretty much rules.

(Apollo 13 may be good, but I doubt it. Twister is probably hilarious)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A Better World is Near

Austria missed it's chance to do the best thing a court could ever do.

Our Drinking Law Must Be Working

This must be proof that our drinking laws are keeping the booze out of the hands of our innocent American children.  The Brits are clearly stupid, the South Africans are retarded, and the Ozzies are idiots.

Smurf-Lickers Beware

http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5gpQNVikm5iiHd77h1JhSrZDI6Y1w

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Free Internet

Google is offering free shitty internet service.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Saturday, September 01, 2007

How The Other Half Lives

Finally the republicans are starting to understand what it is like for the millions of americans who live in poverty.  

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Are All These Guys Homos?

I think the GOP should be changed to "Gay" old party.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hot for teacher

Say "Nice" in a South Park voice to get the full effect of this.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Monday, July 30, 2007

Who Rules?

Cackamasaurus beats CNN by 5 months.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Sinning Sinners and the Sinners That Love Them

It never gets old. Let me repeat that: THIS WILL NEVER EVER GET OLD!!!!!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Friday, July 06, 2007

$10 Million Per Asshole (aka. Welfare For Dummies)

This genius has solved America's economic woes.  Just give every piece of shit out there ten million dollars for being stupid.  That should cover a few folks (at least the GOP).

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Guess What America?

Apparently the constitution requires us to be (color) blind.  Isn't it nice that we have finally come to a point where race is no longer a factor in peoples' lives?  And if anyone would know, it's these guys:

Thursday, June 28, 2007

What Did I Say About Florida

This Could be the explanation for the state's low IQ. 

A Model For The Middle East?

Because Israel has clearly solved its problems.  Oh yeah, and up is down.

I Have A Dream

Of using this machine on a Wal-Mart.

Why? Why? Why?

Why do all the murder-suicides happen to our best and brightest?  Couldn't this happen, just once, to our president?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Get Some

The reason british people continue to get laid.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Best Song Ever

Narrowly beating out Toby Kieth's "The Angry American."

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Norwegian Kids Mess With Train

Kids old enough for school?

Buy them this (if you want child Protective Services showing up at your door).

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Condoms and "Girls Gone Wild" Don't Mix

Read this and note (before your head explodes) that pregnancy is not even mentioned in the ad.

What the world needs

This is it.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

JOB

Thursday, June 14, 2007

American Justice

The DOJ should further this trend by fighting discrimination against rich people. Did you know that most rich people are the victims of government discrimination? They are not allowed to participate in government programs such as food stamps and Medicaid, and they are virtually banned from our nation's prisons.

Things Must Be Bad In Haiti

We don't even like soccer.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Beyond Belief

Apparently the white house is misusing evidence again.

Does this mean we are going to war with "The Climate?"

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Please stop killing yourself...

...before we can torture you to death.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

14 Stupid Words

Wanna know how someone's an idiot? They're sad that this guy died.

Drinking Problem

This guy is what you call a mean drunk.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Friday, May 25, 2007

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Bush Shark Policy Fails

Despite the strenuous push for abstinence-only education the sharks keep getting knocked up.

Monday, May 21, 2007

On The Mind Of Wikipedia

Top 20 Most Hotly Revised Articles
  • Jesus
  • Adolf Hitler
  • October 2003
  • Nintendo revolution
  • Hurricane Katrina
  • India
  • RuneScape
  • Anarchism
  • Britney Spears
  • PlayStation 3
  • Saddam Hussein
  • Japan
  • Albert Einstein
  • 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake
  • New York City
  • Germany
  • Muhammid
  • Pope Benedict XVI
  • Ronald Regan
  • Hinduism

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A Dog in Sheeps Clothing

I only wish I had thought of this first.

Bedside Manner

Gingrich, Giulianni, now Gonzales. Why do these republican ass-holes always do their dirty business with people on their death bed.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Credo Of The Stupid

Here is the NBA's Stu Jackson on the league's decision to suspend Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for standing up to help their teammate:

"It's not a matter of fairness" "It's a matter of correctness."

It is a shitty state of affairs when sports leagues are no longer concerned with fair competition, but, rather, are focused on the "rule of law." I understand that the courts of law cannot be bothered with the fairness of particular situations - they are overburdened and understaffed. The basketball courts, however, can afford to let fairness play a role in the decision-making process.
Just because the NBA and the American justice system share the dynamic of out of touch, arrogant, old, white guys deciding the fate of young black guys, doesn't mean they have make decisions in the same way.

To sum things up, "FUCK YOU DAVID STERN."

Charles Barkley for Commisioner!

Fire and Brimstone

Love is a flower.


(ps. burn in hell motherfucker)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Defamation?

this seems like a compliment.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Iceberg Advises Titanic

the pope is in brazil, "the most populous Catholic nation in the world." i guess he noticed that they have a few problems (rampant poverty, crime, misery, etc.).

and the cause of these problemes?

"Pope Benedict XVI blamed both Marxism and unbridled capitalism"

that sounds about right. what else should these people avoid to get back on track?

"Benedict also warned that legalized contraception and abortion in Latin America threaten 'the future of the peoples' "

Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Quick Rant

ok. when it comes to europe, im usually all for it. the food, the chicks, the social policies. but when it comes to sports, we need to get rid. european athletes are ruining the NBA.
soccer, the sport of europe, considers the worst elements of human nature to be "just part of the game." what i mean by this is, (1) flopping, (2) dirty play aimed at injuring the opposition, and (3) constantly whining at the refs. now i know that these things existed before the european invasion into the NBA, but now, this type of play seems to be accepted. all one has to do is look at the san antonio spurs. these guys should be in the goddamn world cup with cleats on, not on a basketball court. now i know that guys like bruce "knee to the groin" bowen and tim "if you call a foul on me i'll have you fired" duncan are not technically european, but i think this "europitis" is contagious. we need to quarantine these motherfuckers before their disease kills the rest of the NBA.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

I Knew It

deep down inside (or not that deep) we're all bad.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Sun

it's the shit!

This is Rad

"Musicians recently unlocked a 600 year old mystery that had been encoded into the walls of the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, the one featured in The Da Vinci Code."

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Lucky Little Bastards

i hope those kids had tivo.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

funny stuff

do you believe in gravity now, steve?

Friday, April 27, 2007

Necrophilia?

will this give the high school kids a sense of caution, or wood?

Monkey News

The Monkeys Don't Stop

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Horse Withdrawal

Monkey News

don't they realize that this will lead to a cyber-monkey uprising?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

How Low Can You Go?

the church cutting out a doctrine because it doesn't make sense is like a dog-fucker cutting out collies so as not to seem like a deviant.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Kid Steals the Show

will ferrell and a small child.

In Case You Thought Texas Went Too Far With the Death Penalty

iran is shithouse crazy! instead of trying to start a war, we should just "bomb" them with porn (public hand-holding). they'd all have to commit suicide.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

How To Know If You're A Nerd

505 Million Years B.C.

War on Terror

this kid should be happy this did not happen in afghanistan, he would have been tortured in gitmo by now. or, even worse, in texas, he would have been executed (if he was black, mexican, or retarded).

Monday, April 16, 2007

Friday, April 13, 2007

RIP

"Men are jerks. Women are psychotic."

-Kurt Vonnegut

that about sums it all up.

Best commercial ever

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Say It Ain't So

he seemed like such a good guy.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Let us Never Forget

canadians can be stupid too.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Arrogance

one of the most influential biologists since darwin
vs.
the gayest christian meth-head of all time

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

File under: didn't deserve a headline.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

New Iraq PR Campaign

just call the iraqis "bugs."

Who Needs Body Armor?

My Enemy's Enemy

Not that I want him to have a good season or anything, but this is beyond retarded.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Funny

top notch humor.

Fundamentalist Counter-Culture

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...we have a winner. Stupid has a website. And another one. And another one. Apparently God also hates keeping your message in one place.

Cheney vs. Reality Part 100,000,000,000,001

Cheney (to rush limbaugh): "[Zarqawi] organized the al-Qaeda operations inside Iraq before we even arrived..."

Reality: Zarqawi was not an al-Qaeda member until after the war.

do these kind of lies still work? i guess spewing out this kind of crap on the limbaugh show is just like feeding sweet oxycontin to rush.

American Discontent

a synopsis of the retail music business.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Sink Baby Sink

you had to save the texans.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Saturday, March 31, 2007

dar win loses

not only do americans not believe in evolution, they don't even think that scientists believe.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

pat roberson has a law school?

this lady went to pat roberson's law school. and (surprise of surprises) she is a dirty liar. hopefuly she can get pat to talk to god for her. maybe get a tsunami or a flood to bail her out of congressional testimony.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

baller

technology is the devil

we don't need no techmology! we gots jebus and g-bush.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

does anybody read this blog

there are bloggers out there getting death threats.
and we don't even get threats. : ( [or readers]

equal opportunity deceit

at least the general public are not the only people they lie to.

Up Until This Point...

...it seemed like such a nice place to live.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The colors of a rainbow

.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
They're really sayin'......I love you.

I see skies of blue

..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

this is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened.

sex ed for (by) dummies

im sure there is some retardto-fundamentalist somewhere in kansas who thinks that this is what sex-ed is. luckily there is also some ass-storm-rainbow hippie who thinks that that kind of thing is "just natural, man."

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

jihad?

in nigeria it's the koran, in philly its the ipod. either way, the world is a beautiful place.

How Is This Possible?

How is it possible that Arnold Schwarzenegger has become so awesome? How is it possible that I spelled his name right on the first try? Seriously, I did! Limbaugh is totally Bennett.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

do you believe in erosion?

now you can actually see the grand canyon! this will give the christians a better view of this 3000 year old "creation."

If You're Gonna Die at a Frat Party...

...at least choke to death on your own vomit or get crushed by a 50 foot bonfire. Pussy.

!moob

Friday, March 16, 2007

Thursday, March 15, 2007

how to eSCAPE from a charging GOAT

And then he admitted to being Jack the Ripper and then he admitted to stealing my pencil in the third grade and then he admitted to planting false documents illustrating Iraq's WMD's.

Don't Forget Your Hippopotamus Oath

"Excuse me, who makes the rules for your citizens?"

"Oh, the backward and retarded."

Q: How many wrestlers die a month?


A: A lot. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Seriously, these people go faster than Spinal Tap drummers.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Zen of Stupid.

Phil Jackson officially enters opposite world.

gays in the army

if they love wrong, how can they kill right?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Friday, March 09, 2007

it might be boring, but...

they do know how to put on a beat-down.

Who would Jesus adulter?

You can't make this stuff up. Shocking behavior from a guy who left his wife while she was dying of cancer.

obscene

this school did not go far enough. we must protect children from their own vaginas.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

mark my words

this will be the death of us all.

ethics

is it wrong to molest a 3 year old sexbot?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

wrath of pat

what did the Indonesians do to provoke pat robertson so badly?

is it gay to have sex a lesbian dressed as dude?

you figure it out.

progress

hopefully we can one day live in a world where gang rape can be discussed openly (to sell things).

worst intuition ever

"She seemed a little disappointed, um, but she seemed to be accepting of that"

-astronaut Bill Oefelein describing his breakup with the woman who "raced cross-country in a diaper to confront her rival."

Monday, March 05, 2007

English, Irish, Scots: They’re All One, Genes Suggest

they say that beauty is skin deep. in this case, ugly is, apparently, genetic.

Killings continue despite Iraq crackdown

this is crazy. don't they know there is a crackdown going on?

american health care

He has had four heart attacks, quadruple bypass surgery, two artery-clearing angioplasty procedures, and an operation to implant a pacemaker

the fact that this guy is still alive proves that america has the best vice-presidential health care system in the world

Performing sex acts on car windshields?

Sounds like a Whitesnake video. There's probably a better way to word this.

Satirical satire satirizing satire satirically.


How to respond to an idiot without going crazy. That's a picture of a faggot, by the way.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

do you like humor?

these guys don't.

treasonous words

why doesn't giulianni's son remember 9/11?

quote of the day

"that is why i put up my myspace page. in case i die"

We Will Never Forget...


...how shitty this is, even though we want to.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

if you see this, you might be gay.

A contoversial business school project.




Obviously I have no idea what business school is about if this is what goes on there, but I still like the pretty pictures. Of course, I could say the same about any book, provided it has pictures.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Firemen often use this technique on cats in trees.


I guess I'll point out that the 25 year old wife has five kids already, because it probably gets overshadowed by the rest of the shenanigans.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

"People, selling People to People"

what is taco bell really up to?

some might think that this video is a sign of poor sanitation. this article might suggest something different.

drunk mick o' the year


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

ipod users beware

THE IPOD SOFTWARE AND IPOD SOFTWARE UPDATES ARE NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE IPOD SOFTWARE OR IPOD SOFTWARE UPDATES COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.

from apple licence agreement

what's in wolfgang's puck?

"Beyonce Knowles is counting herself lucky for not eating at a Sports Illustrated party in Los Angeles where ... people may have been exposed to hepatitis A by an infected cook working for Wolfgang Puck Catering"

from wikipedia:
"Most commonly transmitted by the orofecal route"

as long as they don't boycott True Lies

Rob Schenk, president of the National Clergy Council, labeled Cameron and his project part of the “Anti-Christian [Ed:jewish?] Hollywood establishment.” He is urging his 90,000 constituents to boycott not only the film and the book, but also to stop watching the Discovery Channel.

These guys have nothing on the ayatollah, he would have sent a terminator after cameron's ass.

no wonder these things blow up like chinese new-year

The hailstorm, which caught the shuttle at the launching pad, caused “the worst damage we have ever seen”

how can it be space-proof if its not hail-proof? get an umbrella for christ's sake!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

vacation alternatives

try this or the ahmadinejad holocaust-denial tour of germany.

love and marriage

on the theme of not having kids ...

this is gnarly

jesus vs. metroid

a battle for a stupid planet.

We Need More Recreational Activities Like This.....

http://www.yahoo.com/s/518188

So Close


This couldn't at least trigger a heart attack? (Ed. note: How sad is it that in suicide bomber vs. my vice president I root for the suicide bomber? I didn't think anything was lower than the Taliban, but Cheney out evil'd them.)
(Google image result for "Darth Vader on fire." Get it? Me neither.)

Monday, February 26, 2007

how did i miss this?

from last week.

all hail the king


fatty boom boom

UPDTATE: apparently, sharon is in a persistant vegitative state, and therefore cannot wrestle. oh what could have been.
this guy and ariel sharon should sumo wrestle for control of the middle east.

Brown Sugar


Upon hearing this the ghost of Strom Thurmond put a wig on Al Sharpton and tried to have sex with him.

trash for you mind

Sunday, February 25, 2007

might i add...

... NO fat chicks. or blacks, asians, etc.

how times have changed

compare and contrast

future war

the united nations is fighting pirates.

look out vietnam, we might be itchin for more

between this, Afghanistan, and Iraq a part II, have things gotten so bad that we cannot even think of new BS wars to waste our money on? our foreign policy seems to be based on RAMBO plot lines.

injustice

should "an eye for an eye" apply to cats? the death penalty knows no bounds.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Happy 125th birthday Paul

You're finally free to get back to gang raping.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

a military solution

this could be the solution bush needs to get more troops in iraq.